Needful things...

What I've learned from building a studio as a disabled man:  

It's been almost 4 years now since we started construction on the studio. This is a project that I have been trying to get built for the last 35 years almost. I've tried several times in the past to make it a reality, but just never quite got there. I've currently come the closest I've ever come to having, completing, and preparing to set up the studio I've always wanted.  

A place for me to be able to express myself artistically. A place where I can go to be creative, inventive, and crafty. My own personal sanctuary. Every time I've tried before I've had very little opportunity or space to be able to try to realize this dream. A place where all my stuff was set up and ready to go, at a moment's notice. A place where all my things - musical, artistic and the like - would have a home. Not sitting in boxes in a basement, or in bags thrown in the corner. Everything would have its place. Everything would be there just waiting for me to pick it up and create.  

This wouldn't normally be an impossible or probable dream, accept for the fact that I've been disabled since I was in my late 20s to early 30s. At least officially. I've always been hindered physically since birth. Construction is a very physical activity. For someone like myself, who is limited in most areas of building and construction at the scale that I've been having try and do over the last less than 4 years, is not an easy task to say the least. It's not even really a realistic task for me. But taking my time over the last 4 years and with the help of family and friends, I'm happy to say that the studio is just about finished. All that's left is some painting and set up, and then we're ready to go.  

Unfortunately, in the last few weeks we found that there are water leaks in the walls of one side of the building. They're fairly significant leaks. And though we have a plan, there's not much I can do about it until the snow melts. So I am again having to wait to complete this process that started in March of 2021.  

When it comes to the building of the studio, disappointment and frustration with its painfully slow pace of completion has become all too familiar. However, my wife has helped me realize that whether or not the studio takes 4 days, 4 weeks, or 4 years, it will be completed. And that even though I'm almost 55 years old now, I should never let go of my dreams. Age is just a number, and you should always strive for something that inspires you ... that helps you get to a place you need, a situation of importance to you, and/or a sense of personal accomplishment, no matter what.  

So that being said, we wait until the snow leaves, we fix the problem, and we finish the job. 

Finish the job…that's a strange concept for me when it comes to this. I've tried several times through the years to try to accomplish what I'm doing now with the studio. But every time I've tried in the past, things seem to fall apart and it never gets completed or even started. Which makes this time special. Because, again with the help of the people of my life and forced patience, I'm just about to have what I've always wanted. My place for my happiness.  

Needless to say when it is completed, I will be posting all over the Internet and screaming it into the hills to let ALL know that it's finally here. Finally, after a long last.

 

 

Not-so-Happy New Year, 2025

So, here we are. A new year, a new day. The hope of 

promise and good fortune. Well, we'll see.

Let me start by saying that we didn't quite make our goal.

That goal was to have the office ready to start moving 

into sometime on or after the 30th of December 2024. 

Although we were able to get all the construction done, 

we were only able to get about 1/3 of the painting done. 

This is mostly in part due to the fact that I got sick on the

19th of December, and as of the date of this posting 

(December 6th, 2025), I'm hoping that I am on the mend 

now. I've been pretty sick for 2 weeks and 4 days. It'll still 

take me some time to get well enough to get back out 

there. I spent 3 and a half days bedridden sick, starting 

new year's eve then straight through the first three days 

of the new year.

So the goal now is to get well enough and strong enough 

to go out and finish the painting. We were able to get 

most of the sidewalls done, but now I have to get the tall 

endwells done and the ceiling done. And when that's all 

done we need to paint the floor one more time. And then 

we can start moving things in and setting things up. In 

the long run, it's not a huge setback. But it's extremely 

disappointing, nonetheless. 

I hope to have an update soon about the finishing of the 

painting and the consequent beginnings of setting up the 

studio. I've posted a couple pictures of what we did get 

done so far. Talk to you all soon.

Studio Construction Update

Since the middle of 2021, we've been in the process of converting an old mechanic's garage into a studio and office.  It will serve as the headquarters of Flaming Cabbage Productions; a group/company I, and a couple friends, founded in 1989.

This studio has been a passion project for a long time now, almost as long as FCP has existence.  As a matter of fact, there's been a couple of attempts to build the studio in the past. Both failed for various reasons. The third attempt has gotten as much farther than we were ever able to get before. I guess third time's a charm.  

 We have in the last three plus years gotten about 90% of the construction done. We're currently waiting to get help to put in the ceiling, after which we just need to fill gaps, trim and paint, and then start setting up the studio. 

The studio itself is going serve as a place to be able to do all the things FCP has done over the years; video and film production, graphic design, audio and music production, podcasting and streaming radio, website design, gaming, and much more. The building will also house a workshop for doing woodworking, electronics, cosplay, and other related projects. Besides these, they'll be many things will be utilizing the studio to accomplish. It'll be a place for creativity.

The deadline to get the ceiling in and the final touch is done was set to be the first day of summer June 20th of this year. As of the creation of this blog, we have about 14 days to go. It's unlikely will be able to get everything done before the deadline, but we're still pushing to see if we can get it done on or sometime shortly after the deadline. The point is is to get the construction completed so that we can just start setting things up to get ready to start the process of creativity, artistic expression, and pretty much whatever else tickles our fancy ... so to speak. 

We've been making updates on the Facebook page as we can. But updates are few and far between. The goal is to make a few updates as we finish with the construction and move into the setup and utilization of the studio itself. That's when the fun begins! That's when a year's Long dream comes true. Something I really desperately want to have in my life. A place for all my nerdiness and creativity to find a home. A place where all my stuff will be on display that I can just grab and play as the inspiration hits me. No more living out of boxes, no more waiting for me to be able to start tackling my dreams finally.

It's going to be amazing and it's going to be cathartic. And when everything's up and running, I can't wait to start doing some real updates and producing some content. 

Keep checking back, and maybe send me some good thoughts and well wishes. And if you read this up until now, thanks for taking the time.

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Fighting boredom with 3D

So I've been trying to keep myself busy lately. But I am still finding a bunch of free time.

So instead of staring at the ceiling, I have been getting back into messing around with my 3D program Sketchup.

Playing D&D and decided to create my weapons virtually.

Letting the Past Stay in the Past

So, I've known my wife for over 28 years now.  We'll be celebrating our 25th anniversary next year (2019).

After we had been dating for a year and a half, my girlfriend broke up with me.  She was very emotional and told me that I was not really committed to her.  Saying that I never made efforts to try and be part of her life and her family.  Especially pointing out that I never spent time with her father.

I admit that, at the time, her father intimidated the hell out of me.  She really loved and admired him and wanted me to hang out more with her and him more.  I did so when I could, but it apparently was not enough.  So she told me that she was breaking up with me and needed time and space to think.  I gave her what she asked with much sadness. 

Two weeks went by.  Three weeks. I called and left a message with her, with no results.  5 weeks went by.  By that time I had determined that that space she asked for was now an official break up. 

We were obviously done.  I was heart broken.  I met her after a huge terrible break up from another long-term relationship.  And now here I was again.  Single.  Sad. 

2 weeks later, I get a call from her.  She says she wants to talk over some things with me.  We planned to meet at a restaurant.  I didn't know what to think.  Were we getting back together?  Finallizing the break up?  She wouldn't let me know until we were together.

"I'm pregnant" she said.  She told me that she was suddenly incredibly emotional and everything made her upset.  Which included, apparently, me not wanting to spend copious amounts of time with her dad (again, out of intimidation).  She said she was using the break up to scare me into realizing my mistake.  But emotions stretched that time into a couple months. 

We got back together.  I told her that she should just talk to me in the future, instead of breaking up. 

Doctor, Who?

I've had three types of Healthcare Professionals in my life; 
Negative reinforcement
Positive reinforcement
No reinforcement.

Those who were negative reinforcement basically told me that I either take this pill or do this thing or I will die. While I understand their motivation, negative reinforcement has never really served me well. As a matter of fact, it's one of the reasons why I have PTSD today. From that first Doctor who diagnosed my wolff-parkinson-white cell that basically told me I had the heart of a 40 year old and would not live very long. But I'm not sure if that was because he either was trying to give me some negative reinforcement, or just didn't care. The ramifications of those words to me when I was 19 affected my entire life.

Those who gave me positive reinforcement seem to help me the most. They're the doctors who said you know if you take this pill or do this thing you may actually start feeling better and that's our goal. They also we're the ones who gave me long-term goals to meet and hopefully succeed. Those who said that if you lose the weight and keep doing what you're doing and taking the meds, we should see some positive results. These are the ones that work best for me.

And then there's no reinforcement. These are the Health Care Professionals you go to and just kind of do their own thing. They're the ones that, through their actions, seem like they really just don't care. Or maybe they do care, but they just have so many people they have to see they basically just want to make sure you're still breathing and move on. And that might not be exactly true but that's how it's reflected on their service and the little time that we spend with them.

So whether you're getting negative, positive, or no reinforcement, you should take all their advice with an open mind and a grain of salt. Maybe negative reinforcement works for somebody, just not for me. And maybe sometimes positive reinforcement isn't that effective for those that need stronger motivation. The problem is that the doctors and nurses and care providers can't know exactly what kind of attention to give to who. Every doctor has their own method. If it works for you, stay with them. If not, move on.

So what works for you?
"Hey if you don't take this pill you're going to die?" 
"Hey if you take this pill it should really make you start feeling better and if it doesn't will find something that will work for you?"
Or
"Hey how are you doing? Still alive? We're going to give you these pills let us know if there's any problems?"

Just got to get out there and find what gets you better.